M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender – A Classy Review
21 Jul, 2010
Upon hearing that there would a live action movie of Avatar, the Last Airbender, I convinced Riss that she would have to watch the show so that when the movie came out we would be ready for it.
We finished watching it together last night and it was just as good the second time around as the first.
Being a man who likes to come to his own conclusions on movies (I liked Alice in Wonderland) I convinced Riss that we still had to go see the movie.
Well we did and now here is my unbiased objective review of it.
Directing: 0 / 10
I doubt the director was even on set
Screenplay: 0 / 10
Did anyone read this? Actors even?
Cast selection: 1 / 10
Surely there was somebody out there suited to one of the characters from Avatar. Aang could have been good if they played to his happy-go-lucky character, but they didn’t. 1 point for potentially finding a diamond in the rough.
Acting: 1 / 10
There must have been a competition between the actors to see who could stink the best. It was an all-way tie. Hat’s off to Yue for not competing in that challenge.
Characteristics of characters: 1 / 10
Iroh is seen drinking tea in one scene.
Special effects: 1 / 10
I have to give them 1 because they did a better job than I could do, with my lack of education or experience in the subject, but the ice couldn’t look more like clear plastic.
Sticking to the original storyline: 3 / 10
Any Holywood production is going to lose points here because you have to make a movie appeal to a wider audience and shrink the duration to make the movie withstandable to those stuck in the theatre chairs for a few hours. I’m not going to say it was great (they did manage to convert good dialog into rotten feces), but it was certainly the best part of this movie (next to the Fire Nation ships; those were badass).
Pronunciation of names: 2 / 10
Congratulations of pronouncing Katara, Appa, and Zuko right out of all of the characters from the show. By the way, their names are announciated clearly enough in the cartoon series that you can pick out what they are. Who the flip is “Uung” and “Aero”?
Everything else: 1 / 10
Just in case I didn’t cover anything.
Overall: 1 / 10
This may be a tie with Hally Berry’s Catwoman. I only give it a 1 because they went through so much effort to entertain us. As bad as it was, they tried. (I could only really give them a 0 if they did not finish the movie really… Actually, I might have given them a 2 if they had not finished the movie. Too bad they did).
RE: The Last Airbender showing in your theatres
You are supposed to be a business. As a business, are you not concerned about people losing faith in the quality of your product? Have you not read reviews or seen the movie for yourselves? Or heard your costumers complain about?
You may think I’m speaking in jest, but I want my money back. As well as compensation for the time wasted in this movie.
By that way, that was not a jest.
I understand that not everyone is going to enjoy every movie as everyone has their own opinion. Unfortunately this movie is the exception since how much it sucks is grounded in fact, not opinion.
Please stop showing this movie immediately and send me a cheque for the money I am owed. You can make the cheque out to: Gregory Pike.
Thank you. I am sure you will not slip up like this again.
RE: The floating turd you recorded from your toilet
I do not understand how you could hate such a great show so much to go through such lengths to make a mockery of it. I mean, you could have written a blog post or tweeted or even just punched a pillow. There really was no need to disrespect such a great franchise.
Please eat a turtle shell and choke.
PS: Book 1 was a great spot to end off. In fact, the first scene was a great place to end off. Unfortunately you let the whole first book unfold into your vision.
Editors Note: Just found some more fire power.
“If any movie ever warranted a class-action lawsuit against the filmmakers, it’s The Last Airbender.”—Keith Phipps, AVClub.com, June 30, 2010
“The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.”—Roger Ebert, June 30, 2010
“Once ‘A film by M. Night Shyamalan’ promised suspense and power, but that was 11 years ago. We must stop enabling him and not pay to see this garbage.”—Matt Pais, Chicago Now, June 30, 2010
“He hasn’t mastered the craft yet, but M. Night Shyamalan may be on to something with this action-movie thing.”—David Bowles, USA Today, July 3, 2010
“[S]ome unsolicited advice for Mr. Shyamalan: Stop writing. Direct, but let others write. Don’t produce. Don’t adapt. Don’t polish someone else’s screenplay. And last thing: drop the over-the-title credit. Besides being another sign of hubris, it’s no longer deserved.”—Mel Valentin, Cinematical, July 4, 2010
“But Shyamalan’s strengths as a director are formidable, and unlike other auteurs we’ve written off, we’re genuinely hoping he can get his groove back.”—Bilge Ebiri, New York magazine, in “Don’t Give Up On M. Might Shyamalan,” July 7, 2010
“If you describe someone as ‘a filmmaker of rare talent and creativity,’ as I did, and then they follow your vote of confidence by releasing Lady, The Happening, and now The Last Airbender (currently the worst-reviewed movie of the summer, below Furry Vengeance and Sex in the City 2) on an unsuspecting public … well, let’s just say I wouldn’t blame anyone who cited Shyamalan as exhibit A in the case against my critical acumen.”—Ross Douthat, NY Times, July 7, 2010
“The current national priorities should be as follows: reduce carbon emissions and stop funding the films of M. Night Shyamalan.”—Cliff Doerksen, Chicago Reader, August 5, 2010
These quotes are from Blastr: 40 kindest and cruelest things ever said about M. Night Shyamalan